Everyone knows a couple who seem very different but have still totally got it together. The laid back with the nagger, the scatterbrain with the alphabetiser and the profligate spender with the miser. Why do we choose people so ostensibly different from ourselves? Shouldn't we be attracted to a partner who shares our feelings, drives and interests?
Why is it that one part of the duo feels obliged to get sh*t done when the other remains laissez-faire? Why does one maintain the order while the other revels in chaos? Why is one partner obliged to rein in the other's excesses? Could there be a kinder, more favourable reason for this spousal choice?
My take on it is as follows: if you're a bit of a scatter brain and you meet someone who is always organised you simply don't know how they do it. You're in awe of their superior planning skills. Similarly, they're bowled over by your relaxed attitude and happy go lucky joie de vivre. When you see someone completing with comparative ease those tasks which you detest, they become close to superheroes in your eyes. It's only ten years later when you forget the milk again that you can no longer get away with a devil may care grin and instead have to face a nagging.
Effectively, we're attached to people who can do stuff we can't and this applies to the fitness industry as well. When we see a buff personal trainer we think they've got it together. If only we can do what they do, all our weight management and fitness problems will be a thing of the past. We watch, listen, learn and wait for the osmotic effect of someone else's dedication and hard work.
The next time you promise yourself you're going to follow all these rules and hit these fitness goals I want you to stop and think for a moment. Imagine your latest guru doing your job. How would they get on? Are they rocking that meeting? Providing school meals like a true dinner lady? Balancing the hell out of those books? Midwifing like a boss?
By all means choose the life partner that rounds out your ability gaps and take on the world together but that's not the way to choose a Personal Trainer.
The Fitness Professional's job is not to show you how they've done it but to help you find your solution.
Unfortunately, we don’t seem to have a Tinder App for PT’s. There’s not a match making site for you to find the right trainer (YET!). So it’s down to word of mouth, checking out websites and trying to glean what you can from a chat in the gym or over the phone. If I could give any advice it would be this: if a Personal Trainer’s website contains more “I’s” than “You’s” or “We’s” then think twice. They may be more about them than you. (This is probably good advice for choosing a partner, too.)
There’s a perfect Trainer out there for everyone so if there’s no rapport keep looking but don’t stop exercising in the meantime. Maintain your gains and move forward. It’s not you, it’s us.
Enjoy Good Health!